Sunday, 6 February 2011

THIS is my life...

Self-indulgent rant time!

I think I may be suffering from depression, or something to do with lack of fresh air and sunshine (I invariably feel better when I'm outside, in the air). Despite the fact that I have been on this "diet" for nigh on 3 weeks and have lost over 2 stone since November, I still feel like shite for far too much of the day. Why is that? I worry that I have some horrible ailment that the doctors are missing, as is my way. I'm sure the blood test results I get tomorrow will show nothing untoward, leaving me thinking that it HAS to be all in my head.

It probably is, to be fair.

I watched a programme about people who emigrated to Australia last night. There was this woman who moved there with her son, who had suffered from SAD in the UK. After only a few months she looked better and said she felt better, with more outdoor living and sunshine. It was certainly food for thought...

Not that I am about to bugger off to Australia at the drop of a hat, of course. The big spiders they have there put me right off the idea.

It made me think about what I do with my life. What IS my life. I get up, drive the hour to work, stare at a screen for the best part of 8 hours, wondering how much longer I can blag it, drive back (another hour...I found out I spend more than 12 hours a week in my car), I have my tea, maybe do a bit of Wii Fit if I feel up to it, then get back in front of two screens...TV and laptop...fucking about on stupid games on Facebook or reading pointless posts on messageboards...till it's time for bed.

Weekends offer little in the way of excitement. Saturday is big food shop day. That's half the day gone. Sunday we take the boy to rugby and then we might get some fresh air for an hour or two. Once a month or so we visit my parents for dinner or something.

I'm telling you, whoever YOU are, right now...if this is what is the rest of my life is going to be like...well, I don't think I can face it. There's no point in getting healthy and fit if I don't make the most of it. I have little to no creative outlet at the moment (I am looking at joining a band again...that might help a bit).

So yeah, maybe I am a bit depressed. I honestly can't believe that this is the pinnacle of human life and civilisation. It can't be, surely.

No comments: